Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Just so you know & apologies to my friends

For those in the jewelry making communities, you may end up hearing a bit of bashing about some of us.

Please ignore it.

The hostess of the last bog hop had some emotional issues during the entire thing, and kept accusing people of attacking her or being rude to her.. which gave her license to attack them or be rude 'in return'.  I'm sure there were some that were, but I'm also sure now that it was in response to something she said, rather than just being rude from the start.

Since the majority of those IN the hop, and who were subsequent 'victims' of her rudeness, were involved because I brought this hop to their attention, some came to me in private about her replies to their questions. A simple note of ' I can't find my name on the hop list...', was met with a response of ' It's not my fault you can't follow the rules.', or something similar.  If anyone responded beyond that, she complained to the group that she was 'being attacked' by the person, or that they were being rude to her.

I got to read some of these comments and replies and trust me, the only attacking or rudeness in them were coming from her.

I had merely put it off to her being stressed. However, after other things have come up, I think her complaining afterwards is more of an attention/pity grab than anything else. So please, if you come across any posts from her bad mouthing others, or complaining about their treatment of her, take them with a spoon of salt, and ignore them. She's only putting it out there for the attention, so having her pity grabs ignored will be a far stronger response than any words could ever be.

Even more drama has enfolded since I wrote that comment at the end of my hop post. Indeed, my little comment at the end of the blog, the one that praised her for her organization of it, excused her rudeness as completely understandable stress, and simply suggested she try something smaller next time with a bit more work on people skills ( something every one needs work on at some point), inspired her to leap completely off the deep end.

She apparently posted on her fb page that she's never holding another hop. Then after that, she posted that she's giving up making jewelry because the beading community hates her. Apparently she even mentioned that she might find a different job because she currently works in a place that she might have to help or serve members of this community.

She also blocked me and several other people because we were 'attacking her'.

Obviously, she has issues above and beyond a bit of stress over a first hop, and being overwhelmed by it.

I'm not retracting anything I said. Indeed, the only times I've even even commented on it, were one post on my personal FB page ( where she wasn't mentioned by name ), and here on my OWN BLOG, -this post right here, where I haven't mentioned her name, and in the blog hop post, which I don't think was in any way 'rude' or 'attacking her'.

You may think my writing this is wrong, however I feel my NOT writing it would be wrong.

As I said, the majority of the people involved were in it because of me, in a way. They were subjected to her behavior and attitude, and subsequent 'bad mouthing' because they, like myself, saw it was her first hop, the next to non-existent participant list,  her low page view count on her blog, and decided to jump in and make it a good first first experience for her, and get her blog noticed.

Because we wanted to be nice and help her out, some of us are now being slandered by her going around saying we were rude to her and attacked her.

  It's to them I wish to apologize since most of you never would've dealt with her if I hadn't shared her link. My friends, I'm sorry I got you involved with someone who was rude to you.

Now, me personally, if I'm going to be blamed for something, screw it, I'll write this post and let everyone know what really went on... and give her something to actually bitch about :)

Will this stop me from doing the same thing again? Of course not. If I see someone just starting out struggling to get their blog noticed, or get a hop organized or something, I'll still share and help out... but I'll check out them out a bit first next time, to make sure they're not nut cases that will end up hurting people then claiming to be the victim.

Oh and before I sign off here, I'm going to say that, this post is more for those who WERE hurt by her treatment and comments. I personally find her response to my comment rather humorous. I've learned to not let the opinions of others matter to much to me - your opinion only counts in my book if

A) I asked for it, or

B) You're someone I respect or care about.

If you're some random person out slinging rudeness, you don't even enter my 'opinion' radar. It took me a while to get to that point and I have days when I crumble under it, bu for the most part, I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I used to be.

 That said, I find the fact that my  ONE COMMENT saying she did a great job but should brush up on her people skills... would inspire her to completely change her life and declare that an entire community hates her or is against her... very humorous.

But I can be a bitch when someone hurts my friends, so maybe it's just me :D lol

**EDIT - It appears she has left both Bead Soup Cafe and Creative Bead chat on facebook.


  1. WOW! I sure hope no one feels that way about the hops I run. I'm so sorry you were mistreated!

    1. Lori, I KNOW no one feels that way about the ones you run. You have NEVER responded in an even remotely rude way to any comment or question, even when it might very well have deserved a bit of rudeness.

  2. Wow, I think If I am going to do another hop again, i'm just gonna ask someone I know well in the group what to do than post and ask the person handling it. If i don't know them that is.It hurt when she up and quit without any notice at all. I thought by me asking questions that it was my fault. At least I made a new great friend out of it.

    1. Michele, she reopened the group and did hold the hop, but I think the whole thing was an attention grab judging by the way she's continued to act through out. I'm sorry you felt that way, but no, it was definitely not your fault. She just didn't react well to people questioning her about ANYTHING, especially her choices on rules and what not.

  3. As a dear old friend says, "You couldn't please some people if you hung 'em with a new rope!" I remember I was making some helpful remarks (I thought) to a classmate once and she seemed to take it well. Then she told the instructor she needed to get something from her car and that was the last we ever saw of her 0_o* You may be right about this woman, it may be she's just extremely insecure and feels the "anonymity" of the internet makes it safe to respond more aggressively than she would in person, there may be other factors. I feel sorry for her, though. She's alienating herself from what could possibly be great friendships and mentors.

    1. She makes beautiful jewelry, and I hope when whatever is behind her behaving this way is resolved, she returns to it. I know both these communities well enough to know, if and when she does return, she'll be welcomed, as long as this sort of thing doesn't happen again. The admins for both groups are not ones for putting up with negativity aimed at others.

  4. In other words she is bat-shit nuts. I truly hope that she gets help with her issues but I am in a way thankful that she decided the leave the community. We don't need that negativity hanging about.

    1. I'm rather glad she pulled away too,since she obviously needs some space to deal with things. I hope she either gets help to deal with whatever is causing her to act this way, or that someone close to her makes sure she does. She makes really lovely jewelry, and it's rather sad how she's completely cut herself off from two large and very helpful jewelry communities like this, not to mention alienating several potential blog followers or even clients.

      There must be a reason behind this sudden blow up, since I don't recall ever seeing any mention of her complaining about people like that before, or of people complaining about HER before. Maybe it was merely a combination of home stress plus first 'bloghop' stress that pushed her over. Maybe once she calms down she'll realize how out of proportion it got and will return... although I'm betting it will be under a different name.

  5. Not to be lighthearted at all, but Shaiha made me giggle with her comment! I'm so very sorry this happened...but very glad I wasn't involved. There have been several serious issues running around lately with people who are....mental. I'm just glad you did write this post, and I hope that the folks that were attacked don't let it keep them from other challenges. Have an awesome week woman!

  6. We had someone who was ready to give up on our blog hops too, because of the way she was treated on that one. So glad you posted this and sure the many great people who "do it right" appreciate this post!

  7. Lol, glad you wrote this! She didn't like my comments either and basically I said it was crazy starting something and deleting it without asking tor help first! She blurted out a comment "this is what I'm talking about, I am DONE". My thoughts psycho!!

  8. I think she's still in CBC, just saw a comment from her

  9. Wow,

    Thank you for being so brave to write this post! I can't tell you how much it helps me feel better, since I posted on my FB the hurtful email I received from her & consequently got a LOT of criticism -- and lost TWO very respected, very "fancy" and established jewelry friends over it :( I've thought a great deal about my sharing that email, and it finally dawned on me: I hadn't shared something "personal" even if it was email; it was, in essence, a BUSINESS email. If a cracker company had presented itself that way, I'd share about it. If I wrote Kellogg's about something -- and got a mean response -- I'd share that too. The Blog Hop was for her Company, her business & so was the email she sent me. The lack of professionalism was shocking to me, and I'm sorry others experienced her blamefulness and rudeness too. I saw the blog hop, and her complaining about how mean people were -- and it shocked me again! Thank you thank you thank you for standing up for your friends. It wasn't your fault she was so angry with others, and you were only trying to support a fellow jewelry artist.

    You have a heart of gold! And the community loves you!! You make our community special, and you make the world a better place :)